The other night I fucked up, royally. I safe worded out of a punishment because I got angry. Being physically separated makes things like this easier to do and makes it harder to maintain this lifestyle and our marriage. My temper tantrum made us both want to quit the lifestyle for a minute and caused us both to do some research. The next day I apologized and accepted a full day of punishments. Also, we talked and decided to try a long distance maintenance meeting weekly, so I know there will be a time and place for questions and concerns and therefore need to submit and obey the rest of the time.
I was going to write about my punishments, but they’re nothing I haven’t written about before. I think what made this particular set so effective was that I had to be still a lot of the time. So, I had a lot of time to reflect about my role in this relationship and how I can treat my Alpha better. There were some permanent changes too. Large plug training has gone up to 2 hours a day and orgasms, when permitted, are limited to one. I’m in my CB a lot more and I’m hoping to get a better one soon-ish.
Careful what you wish for, isn’t that what they always say? I wish I’d listened. I also wish I could control my mouth, but I have a feeling I’m about to get some serious help with that and I’m really dreading it. First, let’s backtrack a bit, to a sunnier time, when I hadn’t opened my big mouth and gotten in trouble. I slept locked up with my dildo in and fantasized about being put to bed locked up with both holes filled. This morning when I woke up, I removed the dildo and locked his pussy back up. Later I did my hour of large plug training. So, by the time Alpha came home from work, his pussy was ready. He did not give the green light until a bit later at 6:30pm. I practically ran to my room. I was so fucking horny and wet, giddily I got out the clit stimulator and went to town. It wasn’t long before my legs began to shake and I felt it rushing up and out, it went on for several seconds. I lay there panting and completely satiated. His pussy said she was done and didn’t want another, so even though I had no limit, I stopped there. Here’s where I got what I wished for and regretted it. When I was done laying on the bed basking in post orgasm bliss, I took a bath. After the bath, I was instructed to insert my medium plug and my dildo and lock it up. I did it and went out to feed the fur babies. I made it 5 steps out of my room before I had to stop. Bracing myself on the wall, I took a deep breath, and started walking again. Wth every step the dildo rubbed my g-spot. It was so intense that my knees kept getting shaky. Also, forget sitting down, way too much pressure. I made it through feeding the animals, then I begged to switch the dildo for a Ben-wa ball and he agreed, saying that I’d convinced him that this would be a very effective punishment. I cringed at the thought, but said nothing. I replaced the dildo with the ball and reported that the effect on my g-spot was the same, only slightly less intense but sitting and walking were much easier since there wasn’t bulk between my thighs or length pressing on my cervix. Later he told me I could take it off for bed and here’s where my stupid mouth got me in trouble. I asked if I should sleep in the belt and he was put out at the question because if he’d wanted that, he would have said. Annoyed myself because one day I don’t get responses because I’m only making statements and the next day he’s irritated that I ask questions. So I snarkily replied that he’s very trusting to allow his pussy to go to bed uncovered after so much torture. He irritably replied that if that’s the case I should sleep in the belt and my heaviest ball and add an hour of large plug time in the morning. I said I was sorry for irritating him and he said “no you aren’t, but you will be”. I was immediately contrite, but the damage is done and I’ll just have to see what his diabolical brain has cooked up. Already off to a torturous start. Woke up in the middle of the night humping the air and trying to get my fingers under the crotch plate. Almost succeeded too. This belt can still move around a bit too much. It deterred me enough to wake me up though, so I’m grateful for that. Due to the movement, it was also chafing my crack a bit, so I wrapped that part of the chain with a piece of cloth and went back to sleep. Very wet pussy in the morning when the ball was removed. Pussy still very wet, but ass very unhappy. I don’t know if it’s because I had to do an enema this morning (believe me, it was necessary) or from just continuous torture, but I literally cannot sit with the plug in today. The extra hour seems like it’s taking forever. I do wish I hadn’t opened my mouth. I know if Alpha was here, I’d get my ass spanked hard for that, so like I said, I’m dreading whatever long distance consequence he cooks up. My brother has to work, so it could literally be anything. Whatever it is, I hope I can accept it with the grace and submission. In the future I hope I am more careful, both in what I say and what I wish for.
Alpha said it was good and fitting that I went back and cleaned the bathroom like I was supposed to. However, since I treated myself to orgasms I didn’t deserve, my punishment was to edge 3 times before bed, no orgasm. When he said this, I sighed, but didn’t argue. I knew this was more than fair.
It was also decided that since we’re anal training, I’ll wear the large plug for an hour a day while up and doing chores or exercising. The first hour started right after I was informed of my punishment. I wore it while cleaning the back porch. Fifteen minutes in and my traitorous pussy was already wet. I told Alpha and he responded that his punishment would be effective then. I had to agree. It was so intense that I begged for an orgasm. The answer was “negative”.
I tried to accept it. I tried to be graceful. I failed. I begged. I got no response. I completed my tasks and my punishment and went to bed. Sleep was fitful. The next morning it became clear that some texts in our conversation were lost. That is why I got no response. After screenshots of my texts were sent, the delayed response was to repeat the same punishment that evening. Again, I know this is just. When I am told no orgasm, I need to accept it. I promised myself I would not beg again. I also decided that I better fix the chastity belt so I can wear it, I may need it.
Small segue… I find it very amusing that I’m actually begging to masturbate. It wasn’t very long ago that I never masturbated, it just wasn’t that great for me to get off that way. It always just made me want actual sex more. Now that Alpha is pushing my limits and I got the clit stimulator, I love playing wth myself. That’s not to say I don’t miss Alpha fucking me, because I REALLY do, but this is a good plan B and I’m grateful.
I basically rebuilt the chastity belt using a braided leather belt we had instead of the chain and a key ring to attach 2 pieces of chain together. It’s not pretty, but it’s incredibly effective and a lot more comfortable. I sent pictures to Alpha and informed him it was available, much to my later chagrin. I texted him a few times about various things and after a couple of hours I grew impatient. I was told “patience and submission”. Still, I was irritated and felt ignored. So, I pestered him. I was told that after edging 3 times, to put my dildo in my pussy, lock it up with the belt, and go to bed. He was right, I need to learn to be patient and to submit to him in all things, and that includes response times.
Edging was rough, the first one took forever. I think because my mind and body were resisting because there would be no release. With perseverance, I eventually got there and the next two were easier to reach. Afterwards, my legs were shaking, my pussy was buzzing, and my body was tingly all over. Everything in me was screaming for release. I lay there taking deep breaths with my thighs clamped firmly together for a while.
Not trusting myself to put the dildo in yet, I went outside and smoked my last cigarette (I’m down to 3 a day now) then came back in, filled my pussy, and locked her up. Groaning, I lay down, trying to get comfortable. Finally finding a good position, my mind began to drift and before I fell asleep I fantasized that Alpha had me fill both holes and lock it up before bed. Something about being filled and locked up makes me want to grovel at his feet. Having access at his discretion only makes me very serious about behaving right now too. I know that I may slip and beg to be let out at some point, I am only human, but I also know Alpha will always do what he thinks best. That is what I love most about him.
Yesterday I started a very light 30 day workout plan. I will do it everyday that I am feeling up to it pain-wise. I wore my plug and I videoed it and will do that every time. I am interested to see how my body progresses visually. Also, making the video somehow makes me feel more obligated to exercise.I don’t know why, I am not sharing them, but whatever works. Today, I will be doing it in the chastity belt too. That should be interesting.
After feeding the animals, Alpha gave me permission to orgasm again. With the large plug still in, I sat on a chair and started to rock back and forth. I rocked and rocked and it felt glorious. Then, I added the clit stimulator and came pretty fast and hard. Taking the plug out, I again put the stimulator on my clit and came even harder. OMG. Let me tell you, it was pretty fucking intense.
Today Alpha had duty and his instructions for the day were to put in the medium plug for a while to prep, then clean the (very dirty) bathroom wearing the large plug and tack bra. After cleaning I could edge 4 times and then orgasm if I so desired.
As soon as I put the medium plug in, I knew I wasn’t going to be happy. My ass was still sore from the day before, so this wasn’t much fun. I was hating life, but I told myself that I chose this and kept it in for about an hour while I ate breakfast and watched a show. When I switched it out for the large plug, I was really hating life. My ass was so sore, I waddled over to the bathroom. I got the counter clean and the tub all scrubbed out. Then I had to poo. Afterwards, I decided that the bathroom looked fine and I was done for the day even though I hadn’t cleaned the toilet, shower, vanity, litter boxes, or floors. I really did not want to put that plug or bra back on, so I didn’t.
I went about my day. I even took a nap! I couldn’t stop thinking about the unfinished bathroom though and how that would upset Alpha. The thought of not telling him doesn’t even factor in because our relationship is based on honesty. Anyway, I finally overcame whatever stubborn streak I was having and went in to finish the bathroom.
I went straight to the large plug and it went in pretty easily this time. Standing up, my ass protested and I told her to suck it up. Same to the nipples when the tack bra went on. I cleaned the rest of the bathroom. My shorts were wet halfway through because even though I wasn’t particularly enjoying myself, my pussy certainly was. My ass is sore and my nipples feel as if they were lightly grated, but I am glad I went back and finished.
Later, I went ahead and edged 4 times and then orgasmed. Since I am not limited to how many times I can come, I went ahead and made myself come a couple more times. My pussy practically demanded it.
If this is how the large plug makes my pussy react, how will she react to the even larger vibrating one Alpha plans to get someday? Eeek!
Yesterday I was supposed to do the floors, but wasn’t motivated and didn’t do them. So, today had to clean a pretty messy kitchen (because I’ve been slacking there too) with a medium plug in and nipple clamps on.
As soon as I saw the words “nipple clamps” I swear my nipples cringed. I hate wearing them, especially when my brother is home. I always feel like he’s going to notice, even though I know he most likely won’t. Also, it always seems to hurt more on one side than the other and the pain increases the longer they’re on and the more I move. I usually get rushed and irritated when they’re on, but today I did something different.
Today, every time felt myself starting to rush through my chores or getting irritated I took a deep breath and told myself “You chose this, you chose submission, and this is what Alpha wants. You got this”. When I was done, I was allowed to take everything off. I stood holding my tits and biting my lip for several seconds after taking the nipple clamps off. The blood rushing back causes them to hurt even worse than before.
Later, I was feeling angsty and asked Alpha for help. Since I’d expressed an interest in trying to get the large plug in, he told me that I could edge 3 times, put in the large plug (if I could get it in), edge 2 more times, then orgasm with my dildo. I was unsure whether I could get the large plug in and if I did, I wasn’t sure if the dildo would fit too.
Here’s how mission large plug went: after edging 3 times, I was definitely primed and ready. I started by generously spreading lube on my backdoor, pushing it inside with my fingers. When I could get 3 fingers in, I put in the medium plug. Then, I moved it in and out for a bit, thoroughly enjoying it. Pulling it out, I generously lubed up the large plug. Slowly I slid it in until I felt the resistance. I started going in and out slowly, pushing it a bit farther in every stroke. Eventually, it slid all the way in and wow, it felt fucking massive. Panting and shaking, I lay there while my body adjusted.
After edging 2 more times, I skeptically picked up my dildo and put some lube on it. Slowly, I eased it into my pussy. Fuuuuuuck, it felt really good. Faster and faster I went. Adding in the clit stimulator sent me over the edge. Although I orgasmed, it wasn’t very strong being as I was filled up, my best orgasms are almost always when my pussy is empty. Alpha knows that, so he allowed me an orgasm that left me wanting more orgasms. Can you say evil genius?
Anyway, I reported that the mission was accomplished and was told to keep the plug in until after feeding the animals. When I let him know that the animals eat later now and that would mean having it in for a while, he said he guessed it would. Looking at the clock I realized I was about to have this thing in for almost 3 hours. Not gonna lie, at first I was irritated, but same as with the clamps I reminded myself that this was my choice.
I am still wearing it as I type and my pussy is sopping wet. It is crazy how wet it is. Sitting on a hard surface is crazy, rocking back and forth feels good and makes my pussy ache to be touched. I badly want to touch her, I want to sit and rock with this thing in my ass and play with my clit until I explode. Then I want to take it out and play with my clit until I come again and again.
It is taking all of my willpower not to play with myself right now and I still have at least 45 minutes until I feed the animals. Wish me luck!!
I started feeling much better a few days ago. So, this cyst is pretty much following a menstruation cycle, which makes sense. So for 2-3 weeks I’m slightly bloated, have mild period- like cramps, low energy, and often light headed. I have to pace myself and take frequent breaks or else the symptoms intensify, however I can still get stuff done. During this time I’m pretty horny and am able to do anything Alpha requests most days. With ibuprofen and tylenol as needed, it’s easily manageable as long as I rest when I need to. Then, for 1-2 weeks everything intensifies. It sucks and all I can manage is my basic chore list.
Anyway, I told Alpha that I was feeling better and asked for an orgasm, of course. He asked if I’d finished my chores and I hadn’t yet, so he instructed me to put my plug in and do them. I felt a shiver run through me when I saw that text. It took me a while to get it in, taking my time and using plenty of lube, I finally got it in there. Afterward, I lay on the bed for a few seconds and absorbed the humbling feeling of having that hole filled up. Every move I make, the plug reminds me not only of my submission, but to whom I belong. Wearing it also motivates me to get my chores done so I can take it out. Although, I think if I were truly being submissive, I wouldn’t be thinking about taking it out. I would be revelling in the slight uncomfortablness because it is Alpha’s desire and pleasing him is my main priority. After chores, I was allowed to orgasm with a few caveats such as edging, yoga, and video of the climax. After a couple of weeks without one, it felt pretty damn good.
The next morning I fixed the gate Alpha built because the dogs made a hole in it and escaped out of their run. I videoed some of it and said a few unpleasant things about how he did a part of it. I apologized later and it was accepted, but I still got to take a cold shower and wear the plug for a few hours. The shower was only slightly terrible since it’s summer, but cold enough for me to hate it. This time when I put the plug in, it went quite a bit faster, but there was a tinge of soreness from the day before. This caused me to lay on my bed for a bit longer than planned. As always, I was immediately reminded of the submission that I chose and whom I chose to give it to. Added bonus, wearing a plug also makes my pussy super wet. This either helps me or hurts me depending on my attitude and Alpha’s discretion.
Ran my errands and was allowed to remove it right before a boudoir shoot here at the house with my friend. The photo shoot went well. It really pushed my boundaries, but I still had fun. Depending on how they turn out, I may be open to doing even racier things on camera for him. It’s scary for sure, but it’s also kind of exciting. I sent Alpha a preview. He’ll get more after editing. I hope he likes it.
The Life of Luna 