The weekend was pretty productive for me. I made a list of my unfinished projects (that I can do in the condition I am in) and Alpha picked 3 for me to complete. This is very helpful to me because I tend to start a lot pf projects and not finish them. Then, when I have time to finish them later, I don’t because I have so many, I don’t know where to start. Also, having a list of things to do and a deadline helps me stay on track and feel useful.
Did some active submission exercises such as wearing a plug to do chores or nipple clamps to yoga because I didn’t do it in front of a mirror the first time. Edging every time a task or implement was changed. Of course, the naked rule is still in effect and will likely become permanent.
On Saturday I sent Alpha a punishment dice game that I found. I was still feeling angsty on Saturday evening, even after being allowed to orgasm (which was so intense because I was literally kept on edge all day and I squirted). I played a round of the game and it did help with the fact that I am missing maintenance a little. I only played a half round, maybe if I played a full round I’d feel more satisfied, but honestly this was more like funishment for me than punishment. Each thing was too short and therefore not exactly intense enough to last, if that makes any sense.
Yesterday my friend came to see me. He’s young and gay. We met at work and hit it off immediately. More than once, we have discussed him renting a room here. Now that the bitch roommate is gone, that’s a possibility again. I haven’t asked Alpha yet, there’s a lot to be discussed but it made me wonder if it would change the nudity rule. After thinking on it, I came to the conclusion that Alpha would likely still require nudity (AHHHHH!!!!!). So, I told my friend about it and he said he didn’t care who is naked and that he’d do naked yoga with me if that would make me feel better. I must have looked scared as hell, because he laughed and asked me how come I am so scared. I told him that I hate my body and talked about the saggy wrinkly weight loss skin, fat rolls, and cellulite. He said “you shouldn’t hate those things, you should be celebrating them. You should not hate your body, you should love your body because it is beautiful. Your husband is right to make this rule, you need to be comfortable in your own skin.” Damn. these youngsters are so fucking smart these days!!! Funny thing, I agree with everything he said, I still don’t want him to see me naked. LOL
I did get in a tiny amount of trouble when Alpha found out I was clothed wile repairing the grape arbor in the back yard. I thought he was only requiring nude sunbathing, but I was mistaken, nudity is required whenever my brother is gone everywhere inside and in the the entire backyard. I am not going to lie, I totally skulk around the back yard trying to stay invisible like some kind of deranged, naked spy in a foreign land. However, I have noticed that my posture has improved because you look better when you stand or sit up straight. Also, I don’t know if this is related, but I am SUPER horny all of the time. Almost to the point of no self control. Wish that chastity belt was already here. I’m worried that it’s a shady site and nothing is ever going to show up. After I ordered it, I saw someone make one (for starters) out of a length of chain and 2 small padlocks and I saw another one I think I could make too. Perhaps Alpha will let me make one soon. I think I really need one.
Anyway, after that friend left, my other friends stopped by on their way back from the rave they went to this weekend. They dropped off a bag of special cookies. Here’s when things went awry, sort of….after smoking with them, they left, and I decided to eat a cookie. A little while later I slid into a deliciously hot bath. It felt amazing and my body felt wonderful in it. I started to let my hands roam, you know, learning to love my body. Eventually I let them roam right on over to my pussy, because I was just feeling SO FREAKING GOOD. I closed my eyes and sank further into the water. Slowly I circled my clit with one finger…Next thing I knew, I was rubbing it with 2 fingers, then 3. I arched my back, my knees hit my bath shelf, and my eyes snapped open. I stopped immediately, realizing that I had gone too far. Alpha was on duty last night, so permission to touch could not be given. I knew better, cookie or no cookie.
Drat! Not only was I unable to complete all of the projects, I had to confess touching without permission, AND smoking more cigarettes than we agreed on 3 separate occasions. Since he asked me to previously, I sent him a list of mix and match punishments. I haven’t heard from him yet, so I am just here stewing on it and hoping (even though it sounds crazy) that he doesn’t hold back. I want to be deterred from doing these things. I want the punishment to be painfully memorable. Limits need to continue to be tested.
The Life of Luna 